My daughter, Gabriella, use to be really scared of balloons. There was a big black ballon at her grandparents house she was introduced to her when she was younger. She did not like it. I did not even realize her fear until she encountered a couple of balloons in Chris’s hospital room. Balloons, which are are used to cheer up kids and a symbol of happiness and joy were in fact very scary when it came to Gabriella’s eyes. And then during the time Chris was back home in hospice more balloons were delivered by a friend. They sat in the corner of the living room and every day, Gabby would look over at them with a very concerned look on her face. She was uncomfortable getting close to them but she was ok as long as there was some distance. Then, over time, we helped Gabby to see that balloons were not such a scary thing. We would play with the balloons in the corner as she watched, we would hold her and walk towards the balloons, and we cheered the first time she touched the balloons for herself. Right now I am watching her as she hits one and then the other, watching as they go down and then come back up. They are very delightful and entertaining to her now and one of her favorite things to play with. I love that she overcame her fear. You would never know that she use to be afraid of them.
There are a whole lot of things you see in a new light when you have your own child. I was delighted when I saw how my daughter overcame her fears and how she genuinely enjoys what she use to be so afraid of. I can just imagine God’s delight when one of his own steps out in faith and overcomes their fears. He knows our deepest thoughts and He knows our every worry. How proud and full of love He must feel when I do the same as my daughter did in front of me. I have been afraid of a lot of things in life and lots of things that I worry about. I have also found joy and excitement in many things that I use to be afraid of. A couple years ago I had this dream or vision, I was up on this cliff with beautiful clear waters below. The sky was blue and clear and the sun shown so bright that is was hard to see everything around you. A man who I knew to be Jesus came to stand beside me grabbing my hand with a big smile. Then another man I knew to be the Holy Spirit came beside me on the other side and grabbed my hand. I turned and looked again at Jesus and He asked me, “Are you ready?” his face shinning with excitement and anticipation. Scared out of my mind but just as excited I said yes to the thrill. We ran toward the cliff. My heart beating out of my chest, the adrenaline of jumping into the unknown consumed me. And even if I wanted to chicken out at the last minute I couldn’t because I wouldn’t let go to the hands that were holding mine. We jumped and seconds later hit the water. It was more amazing then I could have ever imagined! And this is a true picture of what following God can really be! Scary as . . . your worst fear, but so worth it!
So there is also a big difference between doing something crazy, not thinking or praying about it and doing something crazy knowing its what God wants you to do. I would encourage you to try your hardest to read God’s word unfiltered. Try to understand what Jesus is saying without listening to preconceptions from outside influences. Pray as you are reading and seek the Lord for what He wants to share with you. Then when things are opened and revealed, openly discuss them, share with others what God is teaching you. And then all of it means nothing unless you act on what you have learned and obey what God has revealed to you.