To my little peanut

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Dear Gabby,

A week ago I weighed you at 23 lbs. Most people, when they first see you, mistake you for being younger. On the day you were born, everyone who met you for the first time couldn’t help but call you Peanut. The nickname has stuck to this day. But your size does not stop you in the least.

You are almost 22 months old. Most people who spend time with for more then a minute are surprised by this, not because you look younger, but because you act older. You are fast! Faster then most two year olds, and you keep me on my toes. You love other kids and you are not shy in the least. You have acquired quite a vocabulary over the last month and I hear new words every day.

Becoming a mommy to 4 kids before I met you, prepared me well for your fierce independence personality. I have learned to appreciate and know how to be patient with you in order to love and build you up. I’m still learning and Mommy is far from perfect but I know that God has given me what I need in order to be a good Mom to you.

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Although I welcome the breaks when Grammy and Papa have you for the weekend, I find incredible joy in the exhausting nights of holding you tight when your tummy hurts and you can’t sleep. And when all you want is a kiss and a hug after puking all over your bed, I don’t hesitate to comfort you and hold you.

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The love that I have for you is unconditional, and it seems to grow intensely when I see how much you are hurting. I jump at the chance of being your comfort. My heart aches deeply when I see the pain and discomfort you are in and despite the exhaustion, the smell and the extra laundry, I am thankful and joyful that I was given the chance to hold you in a scary and difficult time.

I imagine, my beautiful daughter, that this is the type of love that God has for me and the love that he has for you. He deeply hurts when I am hurting and when you are hurting. When I feel alone, he longs to be my comfort. When I am weighed down by hurtful words, it is God who whispers his love to me, “My steadfast love extends to the heavens, my faithfulness to the clouds.” Psalm 36:5 He wants to be your comfort too, always let him comfort you.

This week we both learned in Bible Study Fellowship that right from the beginning God calls his people by name. (Numbers 1-4) He knows you! He knows you and loves you Gabriella Grace. Your name proclaims that the Lord is your strength and a God who loves us when we least deserve it.

I will always love you Gabby, but I will not always be there for you. There will be times when there is no one who can be there to fulfill your need for comfort except for a loving and holy Father. God has given me you, as a gift, to care for and to love for a momentary time, and I will love you the best I possibly can. But you will always belong to God.

Trust in Him always, and allow The Lord to be your comfort and your strength.

I love you peanut!

Mommy

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